Hi there, Sam here.
Coming at you today with a fresh dose of Hump Day salt.
#6 When you haven’t seen an episode of a popular TV show and someone ruins it for you. Especially after you tell them specifically not to talk about it around you. And then they do. And it’s about your favorite character dying. And they laugh sheepishly and say, “Oops.”
#5
Full closet with nothing to wear. How does this happen? I don’t understand it. I go through my closet everyday (not to mention my growing laundry pile) that is pretty much bursting, and still draw a blank. Trying to put together an #ootd and I can’t wear this because I don’t have the right bralette, this dress doesn’t work because I still have to buy ___ boots, etc. But, then I go to clean out what I don’t wear and suddenly my life becomes an extreme episode of Hoarders. That top from 2008 is still so cute and I’m pretty sure I could still wear it once I crop it – but I never will. Ugh.
#4
When people hate on my diet. PIZZA IS A BALANCED MEAL OKAY? Its got all the essential food groups from the pyramid: dairy, protein (if it’s pepperoni), vegetables, and grains. Although this is coming from a girl who once ate pizza every day for 7 days straight – granted the first 4 days was an accident, and the next 3 I just figured I might as well, right? For like, continuity? Whatever.
#3
People who stand still on moving sidewalks. We built this city on rock & roll. Sorry, where was I? Oh, right – we built this city to run fast. Everyone has somewhere to be. The point of a moving sidewalk is to get you somewhere in half the time – NOT SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO MOVE AT ALL. The key concept is: people don’t walk fast enough for the pace of New York City so we made machines that help you walk exponentially faster. Not so I could impatiently stand behind you blocking the moving pathway and get to the train platform just in time for the G to pull away, stranding me at Court Square for another 20 minutes when all I want is to go home and watch Rick & Morty with my cats.
#2 Wait time between TV shows. I want to know everything that’s happening RIGHT NOW. Not 6 months from now. And somehow all my shows go on break AT THE SAME TIME. What do they expect me to do, watch reruns or shittier shows? What am I, a peasant? I hate waiting.
#1
Did you ever stop to think about how unfair the universe is? Like, for example, how far Friday is from Monday, but how close to Monday is to Friday? I know. It’s fucking tragic.
-GW-
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